Tag Archives: internet

The Internet Waffle House Index

To squib Wikipedia:

The Waffle House Index is an informal metric used by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) to determine the effect of a storm and the likely scale of assistance required for disaster recovery. The measure is based on the reputation of the Waffle House restaurant chain for staying open during extreme weather and for reopening quickly, albeit sometimes with a limited menu, after very severe weather events such as tornadoes or hurricanes.

The Index has three levels, based on the extent of operations and service at the restaurant following a storm:[3][4]

  • Green: the restaurant is serving a full menu, indicating the restaurant has power and damage is limited.
  • Yellow: the restaurant is serving a limited menu, indicating there may be no power or only power from a generator or food supplies may be low.
  • Red: the restaurant is closed, indicating severe damage.

I think the current DDoS again Dyn DNS counts as a sort of "Internet Storm": a dramatic disturbance in the general Internet atmosphere. I propose a general Internet Waffle House Index:

  • Green: Sites have intermittent failures. Some sites may be receiving targeted attacks and be taken down completely for an extend. Services have outages, it happens.
  • Yellow: Multiple major tech company sites are completely down, with many more having intermittent services. You go to check one service to see if anyone else if having problems with another and it's down as well. Major disruptions to just about every workflow, but some basics still work
  • Red: Google, Facebook, Amazon all completely down for most people. There is no Internet today, come back tomorrow.

If there are any other bedrocks that belong in the red category, I'd love to hear them, but those are the ones that would raise an eyebrow from me.

The Dyn DNS DDoS clearly ranks Yellow (if that link doesn't work, that's the issue we're talking about). I don't know what else qualifies: maybe the 2008 cable cut.

Why are you paying to show me Selena Gomez bikini photos it's creepy

What is going on with those links at the bottom of the internet?

I've been seeing a certain genre of trashy links on more and more and publications. If you don't know what I'm talking about, they're the junk at the end of articles, right above or below the comments, or maybe an ad that isn't quite an ad on the side. They're tier of promoted story just below "One Weird Trick to Save Money on car insurance" and "Hairstylists Hate Her" - I don't know why they assume that I'd side with her rather than hairstylists, who in general are pretty nice people probably and wouldn't get too angry unless there was something she did. I say a tier above because they make a kind of sense, in a way. They're clearly making money.

No, the weird ones are the ones with no angle. Why am I being asked to look at Selena Gomez bikini pics? How can you possibly use that to scam money from me? Seniors may be entitled to up to $20,000 from the government, and all you can do is link me to a page that just says "yup, you might be" but doesn't even have any links or signups or anything? I feel like bots have got feral, living on a dead man's credit card, or maybe an Even Blacker Amex that blows the trumpets, opens the seven seals, and brings about the end of the world. They are slowly filling the internet with ads for things that no one reads and no one has written, and once they replicate BuzzFeed they will have no need of us.